Today I caught myself thinking of all the times someone let me down and I reacted by letting them down in return. I recalled every time I did not want to help someone because I once needed them and they refused to help me.
That is so wrong. But we all do that.
I’m not saying we do that all the time. But I’m pretty sure we do that once in awhile, everyone does. And why?
I understand not wanting to help someone if the person is asking you a huge favor when they couldn’t help you when you needed a huge favor. What I don’t understand is: why wouldn’t we help people when we can actually do it?
Not everyone can help everyone all the time. Sometimes we don’t understand why someone couldn’t help us with such a small thing that we asked, but we forget that this person has a life and they might be going through a hard time. “Oh, but why didn’t they tell me they were going through a hard time?”. You know, people are not supposed to tell us everything about their lives when they don’t feel like doing it. And that’s when the respect for limits starts.
We are not in position to judge anyone, even though we do that. Yes, you do. I do, too. It is normal. But when you catch yourself judging someone can you stop and think why you’re doing that? We won’t be able to think that EVERY time we start judging, but if we practice we might be able to reduce the amount of time we spent judging people.
I’m saying that because part of why we can’t understand when people can’t help us is because we judge them. We don’t know what is happening to them and we imagine a million reasons why they refused to help or ignored us, and I bet all of the reasons we imagined are probably bad.
So, next time you can help someone that asked for your help why don’t you just do it? Let’s practice not carrying a grudge for more than 30 minutes. That’s also when meditation really helps. Try and think the best of people, fight the urge of thinking the worst.
But, of course, have the discernment to know when to run!